I am feeling distinctly at a disadvantage these days. For the second time in a row, I’ve met a new neighbor who’s introduced himself, then gone on to introduce me to his dogs. Oh, please. I can barely recall human beings’ names, much less animals’. This is too much to ask.
I realize I’m probably just feeling defensive, though. Our kids have fled the nest, so I can’t introduce them to anybody. We only have a cat, Lefty, who never accompanies me anywhere. No snappy introductions there (although our new vet, who makes house calls, decided he liked our cat when I told him the Lefty’s name reflected his feline politics when he went to the polling place vote).
Slowly, painfully, I’m making my way to a confession: I really don’t like dogs that much.
There. Oh, God. Now I’ve said it. There’s nothing less American, less humane, less sympathetic than admitting you don’t particularly like Man’s Best Friend. It marks you forever as someone who can’t appreciate unconditional love and loyalty, who didn’t worship Old Yeller, who objects to having her crotch sniffed and her leg humped.
What’s the rule I always hear? Dogs and kids can tell if someone’s a good person; they can sniff out the loser, the infidel, the secretly snide and cruel, in a nanosecond. They’re a character test that I’m sure I’ll always fail — even though I do retain a fondness for small children who belong to other people and aren’t sitting next to me in a high-priced restaurant screaming their lungs out and slinging their forks and knives in my direction.
But, dogs? They’re fine, at a distance, when they’re not jumping up and licking me. “Oh, don’t mind him! He never bites!” the ever-cheerful dogowners always say when their big, snarling cur comes rushing up to me at a park. (Oh, really? That’s what every news article I’ve ever read about a marauding pit bull says. “He never bit nobody before he took an arm-chunk outta Junior the other day. But, hey! Junior’s still got his other arm.”)
It all brings back memories of the summer my family and I spent in Costa Rica in 1993. We lived with a family that had a pit bull named Mickey. I walked around in High Alert mode, sure the dog was going to lunge at my kids and I’d be forced to make a Sophie’s Choice between them. But Mickey continued along, peacefully enough, till a cat wandered into his territory in front of the house. The next thing we knew, Mickey was strutting around the house with the cat’s lifeless, bloody carcass hanging from his enormous jaws. it wasn’t the kind of occasion that encouraged trust or peace of mind.
But, I know, I know. Most dogs aren’t pit bulls and they don’t kill or maim. Big deal. I can still do without them. A few days ago, our new neighbor’s yappy little furballs came bounding onto our yard — onto our property, for God’s sake — barking at our cat. I could hear our neighbor calling out to them in her similarly high-pitched voice, which never seems to do any good. She thinks her creatures are so adorable, it never occurs to her they might get on others’ nerves.
Since I was watering the flowers in our front yard, I turned around to greet the yipping little invaders. The blast of cold water in their faces sent them right back home. I’m sure I’ll be punished someday for this nefarious act — by a Higher Power that cleverly disguises His leanings by spelling DOG backwards — but I didn’t care. I loved the way they hightailed it back to their side of the street.
(Copyright 2008 by Ruth Pennebaker)
The dog and him will never invite you to the bed without both of them being there. Cut it before it gets to be too late and you resent him. I’m in the same situation and procrastinating ‘cuz it feels so good to find someone to be close to. BUT I know it won’t last, the minute I speak my truth about his (biting) dog.
I had a friend, years ago, who took a photo of herself for a meet-a-mate web site and she had two dogs in the picture. They weren’t even her dogs. I told her she shouldn’t do that, that men would think the dogs were part of the package. She said they were.
Yep, no different than if your potential boyfriend had two 2-year old kids. He’s a package. Say bye-bye with love and save yourself some grief. Take care.
Thank you Judy, I never really thought of a dog like a package deal like a child. Now that I think about it, many dog over-lovers even love their dogs more than their own children. A woman told me that about her dog the other day. She said that she “almost” (she didn’t want to seem heartless toward her children so hence the qualifier here) loves her dog more than her children because her dog loves her unconditionally, and he doesn’t talk back. (Mind you, he doesn’t talk at all). So, yeah, you are right this is a package deal and one must be head over heals about dogs to be accepted in the pack. I am not head over heals, unless, of course his 160 lb dog knocks me over when he runs into me.
I decided that I must be a cat person, though I never gave it any thought before. I realize that their energy works better for me. Not lions or tigers in the house or nothin, just plain ol’ house cats.
It seems so un-American huh, not to be a dog lover? Kinda like those couples out there who opt to have no children. So un-American. Un-family. Not true though. Everyone has different desires in life.
My desire is to find a man who doesn’t already have his own kids, nor have a dog. No package deals!
It may not be so unAmerican to not like dogs (or at least irresponsible dog owners). When I canvassed my neighborhood to find support for a petition to give to the woman with 4 barking dogs, 4 pooping dogs, 4 lunge/attack children in stroller dogs, I found 80% of the people were with me and the other 20% just didn’t want cops involved. And half of them owned dogs that they kept on leashes or in their homes and they too were upset with the irresponsible dog owner(s) and didn’t like their dogs either. I saw a website (maybe this one) that asked people to vote on how they felt about dogs and 1/3 did not like them. 2/3 of American love their dogs and 1/3 do not (according to that survey).
In Napa Valley, CA where I used to work the dogs were better cared for than the migrant workers who came in to pick the grapes and make the vineyards rich. Not even a toilet for them to use and as much as 500 workers with no shelter one year. But the dogs had pet parades and their own cemetary. Go figure…
And just in case any of you (Michelle) still think I’m a sociopath, I am an avid traveler to 3rd world countries donating my time to orphanages and education of women (who would laugh at the idea of owning a dog – except to eat. They are starving, living in the real world instead of spoiled fat Americans and their spoiled dogs).
….I think this web site is a hoot… maybe I’ll start my own blog on another pet peeve (no pun intended) about low-slung jeans on obese teenagers with crack exposure… cracks me up!
Angela, I’m in your boat, only worse! BF of two years and I just moved in together, and he brought his collie along. This dog has lived with BF’s mother for his entire life, now he’s with us? BF’s reasoning is, “I’ve always had a dog.” Mm hmm, that makes perfect sense! I have allergies, so now we have (1) stinky house, (2) hair everywhere, furniture, clothes, etc. (3) no sleep due to dog’s pacing, scratching, etc. (4) on the verge of breaking up. HELP! I love this man but I don’t like dogs, don’t want to live with one. He thinks if I live with him I’ll start to love him (the dog), but hey – I don’t like tomatoes, and eating them every day isn’t going to change that. I have lived with dogs before, and I was miserable. The simple solution would be for this dog to move back with BF’s mom, yes? Any other ideas, y’all?????? – feeling sad in Denver
Laura,
I think it is very disrespectful of your BF to bring a dog into your home together without talking about it with you and coming to a mutual agreement. So he says “he has always had a dog…” What’s that have to do with anything. I heard the exact same twisted logic. What else has he “always” had or done that you should also know about, and not after the fact. Has he “always” been this inconsiderate??
It is not fun living in your own home in a constant state of tolerance (dog, allergies, etc). That is not a safe haven for you. It wasn’t for me, and I have split with my husband (due to other things as well of course) and I don’t miss having an indoor animal one bit. I don’t miss my ex that much either, but that’s a different story 🙂
I wish you the best,
~Angela
Laura, if you were to explain to your BF that you were ill (allergies) due to his dog and the dog had to go and he chose between you and the dog and he chose the dog, wouldn’t you want to know that? There’s plenty of fish in the sea with more consideration for you. I just started dating a man with a dog and when I explained I didn’t like dogs, I was shocked when he said, well, I just got him for companionship since my wife died; I’ll see if my son won’t take him – and we are just beginning to date – what a considerate gentlemen! Jude
Dear ones, thank you for replying! Yes, I knew about the dog but the way our relationship was, I seldom saw him – he was ensconced at Grandma’s house (where the BF lived when he wasn’t with me). Grandma has fed, watered, and accompanied the dog for his two-year life, with only part-time care from my BF. I know he’s delighted to have his own place (with me) and bring said dog along. I told him I would “try” living with the dog… and it’s just not working. I came downstairs this morning and told him, “I smell dog. Just stepping out of the bathroom I smell it.” I do hope he’s getting it and will decide to return the dog to Grandma. It would make the three of us very happy! – and BF can still see him, yes?
I don’t see how you can still call it his dog if you send to live with G-ma and he just goes to visit it. I understand that the dog has lived there previously, but G-ma and your BF assumed this was a temporary situation. Returning the dog, permanently, to G-ma’s is pretty much the same as abandoning him. Personally, I’d get rid of you before the dog.
Wow Michelle, you really don’t get it.
Laura, listen to your heart; speak clearly about your needs and boundaries and don’t pay any attention to mean, hateful people. The world is full of people who are more considerate of their partners than their animals. Take care, Jude
I am in the same predicament. I like dogs but dont like the shedding, the slobber, most of all the smell. I have a 3 year old that creates havoc in the house as it is, and need to ran after cleaning. I really love this guy, the dog is just less 1 year old, cant stand the mess and smell. he also sleeps with him, and when we are together I can smell the dog in him as well.They still to clothes, linen and even his sweat smells of dog now!
He had the dog before me, it will be unfair to make him choose. But I do not want to live in my own place in such torture all the time, constantly cleaning and trying the rid of smell. The worst, is to be sleeping with the dog as well. Is there a compromise to this?
I think it’s weird to sleep with your animals. I have a cat and he was so cute and I let him sleep with me till I had cat hair all over and then found a worm one day. EH! He also woke me up at 4:00 a.m. to “play”. Now he’s out for the night and the bed covers are clean. Dogs have worms too. Just gross.
I think this is a very strange post. To Laura, you seem to be a NON animal/pet lover. Okay, but you should understand what it’s like for those of us who are: adopting an animal is a responsibility, not a whim. When those of us who are animal lovers bring a pet into our lives, we do it with a sense of responsibility and devotion. Usually, it’s a character trait that is evident in other areas of our lives as well.
For an animal lover, you don’t just “get” a dog and then get rid of it when a “new” person decides to have a problem with it. These animals have been adopted to be part of our “pack” and as the newby, you should accept it. Animals are not like designer purses that you pawn off on an ugly friend when you get tired of it. They are living, feeling, emotional creatures, and they should be regarded as such.
Otherwise, stop trying to torture your guy and force him to make a choice. It’s hugely unfair to him, and is very selfish of you. If you seriously cant stand it, go date someone who is allergic to animals. Problem solved.
Thank you Stephanie!! Wow she really summed it up. So Laura, do you now get it?
Stephanie,
Laura’s BF’s grandmother cared for the dog, not him. If he had responsibly gotten this dog and cared for it as you seem to think all people do when they get a dog, it would be as you say, but he didn’t. He pawned it off on Grandma, and now he wants to pawn it off on his GF. No responsible. Dogs are not humans. I grew up on a farm and watched otherwise well-behaved dogs, pack up and kill cats, cows and chickens. i lived in Africa and saw nothing but bad behavior. These are animals and not meant to be in your bed. I guess dog owners and non-dog owers will never see eye to eye. That’s why it’s best to not date someone with a dog if you don’t like them. There’s plenty of fish in the sea.
@Judy: I live in LA, and I’ve seen otherwise well-behaved humans “pack up” and go on rampages. So, that being said, I think the real answer is what you wrote…dog owners and non-dog owners will never see eye to eye. Well, “never” is overstating it a bit, but ultimately, if it’s a non-negotiable thing with you, it’s best not to try and change others to suit your personal preferences.
@Michelle– thanks! Glad we agree!!!
Not a dog lover myself. Never felt much appeal towards them and find them to be annoying and filthy creatures.
I’d never date a man with a dog either. If the guy chooses to own that dog over you then that says enough. Dump him and find a man who also shares your non-dog ideal world.
Wow, I am so glad I found this post! I strongly dislike dogs…the drool, the smell, the hair everywhere, the poop, everything! Very rarely have I found a dogowner’s house that doesn’t smell immediately when you walk in the front door.
I know some people like to compare dogs to children…as in, ‘if you don’t like dogs, how will you ever handle having kids?’ There is a huge difference. Kids grow up. Dogs are perpetual toddlers, running around, making messes, and requiring you to clean up their poop. Dogs will never talk to you, and if you dress them up, you’ll look insane 🙂
My problem is, I’m just not an animal person in general…isn’t that awful? I sometimes enjoy other people’s pets, but never ever in a thousand years will I have an animal in my house. I just value peace and cleanliness and nice furniture too much!
I think more dog owners need to get some perspective. I always feel they make some great assumption that other people don’t really mind dogs that much, or that deep down everybody does in fact like dogs. Fact is all the positives do not out way the negatives for me. Even that little fur-ball that holds a special place in your heart is really just a nuisance to my life.
I would never harm or neglect a dog. I also, would never enjoy one.
I have also found I can tolerate a dog more when it has a considerate owner. People forget pet etiquette.
As far dating a dog lover, I can see from both sides it would be hard. If I were the owner I would in no way give up my friend because of someone I was dating. If the two people made a lifetime commitment to each other than there needs to be some mutual understanding. Someone has got to give.
To Stephanie & Michelle,
I agree with everything that you said, however I also think you hold very idealistic views of your fellow dog owners. I have had many wonderful animals in my life and know my family and I will still have more. We really do consider our pets part of our family, and care for them as best we can, and it sounds like you do the same. Not all dog owners do.
My problem only arises when my human rights are encroached upon. Sometimes if you have a low tolerance for all the little endearing things a pet does then it can drive you INSANE.
well, i went looking for a site that would somehow be sympathetic to my 16+ year stint with dogs in my life – as a non dog lover – done only to satisfy the cravings of my second husband. its a long story, but it is definitely true that dogs are permanent 2 year olds, they will never leave the house (like my daughters did – successfully) and now i have to continue to have incontinence, smell, daily responsibility, etc because they are part of the “family”. We didn’t start with dogs – he never grew up with dogs – but 16 years ago he decided it would be fun. Its not fun – it wasn’t then and it isn’t now. That doesn’t make me a bad person – and for those ASCPA contributors – each to their own. I just am tired of living in dog dirt. At this point, sympathy is all I’m asking
Front page of my hometown paper (circ. 800) – “Murderous dogs run rampant”
a small dog was found mauled and bitten to death on his owners front porch. They took the lifeless body to the vet. He confirmed it was NOT coyotes, but a pack of dogs. I’m sure the owners who let their dogs lose for the night (to go poop in other people’s yards) think they behaved themselves. It’s in the La Conner Weekly Paper, La Conner, Washington. Not sure if they have a web site. Judy
My mother does not like dogs. I have never seen her be affectionate to dogs. All she can do is be angry at dogs and complain about them. But I have come to realize it is not about dogs. It is about how SHE was treated by her step mother when she was young. Dogs just emulate for her a smaller weaker “child like creature” with no real power in the family. Just like her when she was a girl. So when you hear her talking to dogs …..yelling at them…..scolding them…..what you really hear is how much her step mother must have been verbally abusive to her. That is also, I suspect, what is going on with Fabulous. She is more than likely projecting on to dogs something much deeper from her own childhood. Dogs are just easy to use as a distraction from saying “someone did not like me when I was young….they did not like the way I sought out their affection ……someone let me know when I was young that they did not like how I attempted to gain their approval.” Just the way she now speaks of what she does not like about dogs, she may not realize what she is really saying about early painful childhood rejections of her own “inner puppy”.
Good grief Tim, that’s hilarious! too funny. you’re kidding, right? I don’t like dog slobber cuz’ my mom didn’t like me drooling…. I don’t like dog poop in my yard cuz’ my mom didn’t like to change my diapers… I don’t like dogs attacking me because… well, let’s see my mom didn’t attack me… so why don’t I like dogs attacking me? help me out here Doc.
Love this post. I grew up with a dog but once I had a cat as an adult I never wanted another dog. My mother loves little dogs. The darned animal nips at all the great-grandkids but mom says she’s just trying to say hello. Maybe so, but the kids are terrified of her, and if I have to hear about the needing her to go to the vet for the gland thing one more time, I’m going to pull over the car and retch.
I find dogs at all the beaches here in Maine. In fact there is only one beach I know of that is blessedly dog free in a 2 hr drive from here. It’s a bad day at the beach when you can’t just walk along the water without dodging balls alone with your husband and worrying about the kids, yours or other people’s, when this big creature you’ve never met shows up unleashed, or leashed, to say hello.
I have friends who won’t go out at night because the dog will get lonely. Seriously people. It’s a dog. Get it a friend and get a life.
I’ll take my 2 cats any day.
Finally, others who detest those vile creatures as much as I do.
Nothing grosses me out more than stepping into someone’s home and being assaulted by dog stink.
Then comes the foul beast itself, slobbering, jumping, peeing, barking its fool head off, out of control, dirty paws and mouth on me, filthy claws catching on my clothes, humping my leg.
And of course I’m the a** if I don’t think this thing that just put a snag in my sweater, drooled on me and peed on my foot is adorable.
I never enjoy anything at a house that has a dog. I am always on edge because I don’t know what that thing is going to do and I don’t know where that thing has put its stinking butt or its tongue, which has licked its stinking butt.
I cannot eat in a home with a dog. Dogs eat their own poop and are allowed to lick, lick, lick everything in sight by their stupid, adoring owners, who do not connect their own constant digestive issues with the fact that their dog is giving them E. coli through feces consumption.
Ew, ew, ew.
I love having a clean home. I love not smelling dog stink. I love having a house full of un-chewed, unbroken things. I love not having to look out for piles and puddles and vomit. I love being able to put dinner on the table and turn my back on it without fear that a filthy, thieving pig will jump on the table and scarf it down.
I love not hearing constant yapping over nothing.
I love sleeping in a bed with the confidence that I will never roll into dog pee or poop.
I love not having to get up at 6 a.m. for the morning pee-and-poo. I love not having to go for “walkies” in a monsoon or blizzard and then cheer a dog taking a dump like it’s the Super Bowl.
Uh, it’s a dog’s bowel movement, not a touchdown.
I love not being humped or watching in horror as a dog pleasures himself in the middle of my living room in front of my friends (yep, got to see that lovely sight at a bridal shower, she thought he was funny but the rest of us were disgusted, common decency prevents me from going into further details but it was literally dog solo porn).
I love being able to enter my home without being jumped on or greeted with a dog squatting and peeing in my entryway to show me he respects me as the “lead” dog, since it is apparently a doggy thing to show subservience by squatting down and releasing urine before your betters.
Great.
I love not wasting hours a day for doggy exercise time. I have more important things to do than toss a ball to a dog for two hours, and even if I didn’t, the sheer monotony would be torture.
Toss. Fetch. Toss. Fetch. Toss. Fetch.
Uh, no.
I love not having my schedule dictated to by the toileting and eating habits of a dog.
I love not spending a fortune on vet bills and dog food.
I love not having bowls of food on my floor and being tortured for a treat.
I love not constantly cleaning, scrubbing, vaccuuming, running a carpet shampoo machine in the fruitless effort to keep a doggy house clean.
It is not possible unless the dog is outdoors all the time. If you own a dog, your house stinks and you live in dog dirt, no matter how much you try not to.
I suspect people who have dogs do so because they are lonely or want the “unconditional love” they think the dog gives them.
It’s a dog. It cannot love. You are assigning a human quality to a sub-human.
Find human companionship or better yet, learn to like yourself enough to be alone with yourself.
I think that is the true root of dog worship; people who worship dogs are lonely and can’t stand to be alone. The dog gives them a “baby” to love and care for.
They think people who don’t like dogs are pathetic but it’s really the other way around.
OK Karen, we get it. You love yourself. And you’re too selfish to understand the relationship people have with their dogs. You think you’ve got it all figured out. But sadly you don’t. You can’t. You don’t have the capacity. That’s unfortunate. The good thing is you’ll never know. “Ignorance is bliss!”
I am so glad I’m not alone with this. I don’t hate dogs in the wild, but I hate them in people’s homes. I grew up in the country, and all my dogs were kept outside in their doghouses where they belonged. People are really going overboard with dogs and I find it very disgusting when you can’t visit a friend and sit on the furniture without dog hair clinging to you, when you can’t walk into someone’s home without that gross dog smell hitting you in the face, and can’t relax because some gross, disgusting dog that’s just been licking their crotch wants to jump all over you and lick your face/and hair. When you can’t eat in peace because they are sniffing you, or when they shit or pee on the floor and the owner’s response is “they’re just a puppy they’ll learn. Would any of you dog lovers let your 7 year old kid shit or pee on the floor? And sharing a bed with a dog? You have to be out of your mind. Are you aware you could get a staff infection from letting dogs do that? I’m so happy my child is a cat person, as i would never own a animal stupid enough to shit where it lived.
Michelle and Stephanie, I happen to think it is you who doesn’t get it. How day you two assign some moral failing to people simply because they do not like dogs and you do. You are no more moral than anyone else simply because you like dogs. I am not immoral because I don’t like dogs. I totally agree with Elizabeth (27). I happen to think that on the most part are very inconsiderate to other people. They assume that I should love when Fido jumps on me and won’t leave me alone. They think I should love their dog because they do. How would they like it if I let my kids behave like that with them. Come on over to my house and I will let the kids jump on you at the door. They can claw at you and scratch you while I laugh and think it is cute. They can pee on you and maybe have a dump on the floor in front of you. Then I will scream at them at the top of my lungs. I will put them in the back yard and when they object by making too much noise I will scream at them again at the top of my lungs.It would be a different story then, wouldn’t it.
People should have to go to Dog Obedience School before they are allowed to own a dog. Train the things people. I don’t want to hear a single word about peoples kids. I happen to think that too many people need to call Nanny 911 for their children also but children are humans and dogs are animals. What other people do or don’t do with their children doesn’t give you an excuse to torture other people with your untrained mutts. I don’t even want to hear how you are the one that loves them and I am horrible. Yeah right. I used to live beside a woman that had a large dog with a large bark. She put that dog in the backyard from morning until night and the dog barked from morning to night. Did she love her dog. She sure thought so. I thought it was cruel to do that to an animal. Why have it in the first place? Didn’t do anything to warm my cockles. I wasn’t feeling warm fuzzies for the thing. I wanted to kill it. Before you go all offside here… I didn’t kill the beast. I called the Bylaw officer.
Just curious Pauline did the Bylaw officer do anything?
Hello K,
I had never lived beside someone with dogs before so I wasn’t sure what the rules were. I had to do something because I really was devising plans for that dogs demise. It was driving us all crazy. That kind of constant noise starts to affect your central nervous system, and mine was about to pop. I called the Humane Society first and they don’t do anything. Go figure. I called the police and they told me to phone the By-Law Officer. The By-Law Officer told me to first talk to the neighbour. I told the officer that if a neighbour had that little concern for the dog or the neighbours in the first place that I doubted they would listen to me and take it kindly. Besides, I wasn’t feeling very kindly. I was out when the officer came over. I was just pulling into my driveway when the officer was pulling out of my neighbours driveway. As I was getting out of my car I heard the neighbour yelling something and then slamming closed the window and then the door. I don’t know what happened but the dog was kept inside after that. About a week or two after that the police showed up and took the husband away and the wife and baby and dog moved shortly after that. If the noise of the dog was driving us all nuts I can imagine it must have drove the baby nuts. I was so very glad those people moved.
Dear K,
I am sorry. I am not sure that I answered your question properly. When I phoned the By-Law Officer they told me that one can let their dog out in the yard and the dog can bark a few times. for a couple of minutes. Beyond that is unacceptable. From 7am until 11pm is completely beyond unacceptable. It then falls under the noise by-law as well as something to do with the animal. I always thought that the noise by-law only came into affect after 11pm but that is not the case. Too much noise is not allowed anytime without a permit. At least that is the case in this area of Canada.
I am sorry. I am not sure that I answered your question properly. When I phoned the By-Law Officer they told me that one can let their dog out in the yard and the dog can bark a few times. for a couple of minutes. Beyond that is unacceptable. From 7am until 11pm is completely beyond unacceptable. It then falls under the noise by-law as well as something to do with the animal. I always thought that the noise by-law only came into affect after 11pm but that is not the case. Too much noise is not allowed anytime without a permit. At least that is the case in this area of Canada.
Thank you, I am currently living next to neighbors with 3 Great Danes, although they have been quiet when the snow and ice are here, other than that they are LOUD AND STINKING!! I really feel bullied because the owner is a police officer and the police station has not and probably will not do anything to help my situation! And yes, I tried talking to the neighbors and police nicely and after that is when they got the 3rd Great Dane. It has been terrible and I NEED HELP!!
I, too, am glad I found this post! Several years ago at college I was in a psychology class and as an experiment the professor had us sit/stand to express our opinions. One of them was “remain standing if you don’t like dogs.” I was the last person to sit down, feeling embarrassed. Since then I’ve thought it’s really sad that non-dog lovers are thought of as “bad.”
I’m totally a cat person, and all my life have been pressured to adore other people’s dogs. When I was little my aunt’s dog would jump all over me, scratching my legs and trying to lick my face. I didn’t particularly enjoy getting scratched, and all she would say is “oh, he wants you to get down so he can see your eyes.” In my 5-year-old mind I was thinking, “why, so he can scratch my eyes out, too?”
My mom is scared of cats, and as I grew up I had to learn to respect that (I’m a total cat person). But it seems that no one can respect the fact that I don’t like dogs!!
Now I am married to a man with a dog. The dog is outside in a fenced yard with his own shed most of the year, but can’t be outside in the winter. This winter has been extremely frustrating. He lives in the basement (I will NOT have the hair, poop, pee, stink in my house), and almost daily there is a mess. He sheds ridiculously, stinks, and whines, as well. I can barely stand to be in the same room as him.
Despite all that, however, I do feel bad for him. He deserves a home where his owner doesn’t work 10-hour days. I realize that his breed (Jack Russell) is highly intelligent and requires a lot of attention. Despite the fact that I loathe this dog, I don’t wish him any harm. But I don’t like him enough to quit my job so I can come home and walk him to prevent him from pissing all over the house. Sigh.
All I can say is wow!
I am a dog lover, actually an animal lover. I don’t care if a dog drools all over me, or kisses me, and I enjoy sleeping with them. I couldn’t enter into a relationship with a non dog lover or a man who wouldn’t tolerate the dogs on the bed because that would be stupid. I also wouldn’t enter into a relationship with somebody who was on the right side of politics because that would also be stupid. Stupid because I find their politics repulsive, the same as I find fussy people who worry about hair on their clothing repulsive in their fussiness. For me that points to other areas in their personalities which I would probably find equally repulsive and uptight. To those who have no idea why and how we can love dogs, well the simple answer to that my dears is, whoever made the law that we can and should only love members of our own species?……unless of course you are God botherers and in that case I totally understand *rolleyes* own image and all that crap.
Dog poop stinks, well duh! you don’t have to eat it, and if a neighbours dog is coming onto your property to void then man up and ask the owners to please pick up after them (if it is the law to do so)……on the other hand you CAN’T CONTROL EVERYTHING IN LIFE, so may have to make arrangments for yourself where you build a fence or something…..yeah! the cost is yours but think about your peace of mind in the long run….Barking dogs, annoying, yes, I’d be annoyed with my neighbours who didn’t stop the practice……BUT! you non dog lovers need to get it through your thick skulls that NOT ALL DOGS OR OWNERS are irresponsible towards their communities or their dogs.
Stop generalising and get over it, or do something about it…..unless of course your victim mentalities won’t allow you to.
Hail Cesar……..love you and love your show.
Cheryl from Australia.
I AM NOT ALONE AFTER ALL! I have been made to feel like I am an evil person. I don’t like dogs. I feel horribly guilty about it and I think I am an evil and mean person because I just don’t like them at all. The smell, the licking, the barking, the mess, the neediness, clinginess, the cost, the jumping, the biting, their genitals being exposed, cleaning themselves, begging, panting. It all makes me so uncomfortable. I have been like this all my life and I don’t understand why. I see puppies and think they are so cute but I know I couldn’t have one. Now all that being said, I have a weiner dog that I do care for but he understands me. I am the one he wants when he is sick, I am the one who nurses him lovely back to health (back problems), I am the one who looked for him for two days when he got lost. So what is wrong with me? I love him but really don’t like dogs and would not have gotten him if it weren’t for dh. But I can’t stand to see our dog suffer or think of him scared and lost. So is this a personality disorder? To be utterly grossed out and annoyed by dogs? I wish I could change, I have tried but if feels so fake. I am sure many of you think I am terrible. I am the first one to help a child or friend. It also bothers me that people spend so much money on dogs when so many humans are suffering. I really do hate feeling like this. I feel guilty all the time about it. My entire family adores dogs, but I just don’t get it. I am glad someone else understands!!
Dear Suze,
You are not evil simply because you do not like dogs. Do not listen to self-righteous people. Liking dogs does not make one moral, and not liking dogs does not make one immoral. You actually do like dogs, since you seem to love your own little dog. What you don’t like is the bratty and undiciplined dogs that others have. I don’t like those bratty dogs. I am not fond of bratty kids either and I will bet you that if your children were as bratty as their dogs are they would be making noise about it. These people are the evil ones for not training their dogs to behave in civilized society. Not liking dogs doesn’t even man that one does not like animals. I, for one, had a cat that I loved and miss. In saying that I will say that my cat never attacked anyone and never rudely bothered any guests in my home. That is an animal that can’t really be trained and we all know that dogs can be trained. I always marvel at how well trained guide dogs are.
There can be no morallity attached to liking or not liking dogs. You can bet that there are and have been very evil people that have loved their dogs and some very moral and wonderful people that have not been fond of dogs. Do not let people do that to you. Whether or not you are evil is not dependent upon a dog. Sometime I think that if others think of themselves as moral because they like dogs then they don’t have to actually be moral. It reminds me of my ex-boss. He always told people that he was a Christian. He had a book of Tracts that he put on top of a pile of papers on his desk. He was a very disorganized person, so that pile of paper was always getting bigger, but that book of Tracts was always on top and facing anyone that may walk into his office. You may think that is all wonderful except he was the biggest liar ever. He would lie about anything and anyone, in order to make himself look good. We used to say that he only lied when his lips moved. Does having a book of Tracts on your desk make you a good Christian even if you are chronic liar? Does saying you love dogs make you moral?
I hope this eliminates some of that imposed guilt that you feel.
Best Regards
Pauline
I’m a pet and animal lover like many here. I’ve never owned a dog (but shared my life with parrots for over 18 years and have adjusted to their demands and social needs) but I have to say that the way dog owners are influences my enjoyment of their dogs quite heavily. My fastidious sister owns 2, and she’s always up to speed on caring for them and making sure they are healthy. My bf however even admits that he’s too lazy and irresponsible to own one. So the difference is, I wind up having to be “the heavy” – always doling out my cash and time to clean up after his shedding, parasite infested dog whenever he brings his dog to my home because he refuses to see that there is a problem. So I can relate to others’ feelings here about the hair, the smell, etc… but then I realize this situation would be different if he were just as conscientious as my sister is when it comes to pets’ health and hygiene.
@Cheryl: Sorry, but I found your post rather offensive and judgmental in oh so many ways! You’ve put down entire cultures and groups of people! People in my culture of origin tend to be “neat-freaks,” orderly, authoritarian, and right on the political spectrum but are wonderful people too. While I’ve spent over 10 years of my adult life on the left, I finally opened up and realized that even the philosophy and ideals of the right make sense too. It’s not that hard to understand where different values come from and, in fact, you need both types to have a functioning society. http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/06/100609111312.htm
@Lyn
:)…….My post was meant to be confrontational for the very reasons you found it to be. My less than diplomatic post was in response to the generalization of dog owners as people who disrespect both their communities and their animals. My point was also to say that if the values you hold are totally different to those of the person you are sharing your life with then maybe the relationship is not for you. (Cat Dog, Right Left) I grant you that my post may have been a little heavy handed, but I offer no apology, as sometimes a wake up call is needed with a loud alarm clock.
And this country could well do without the religious far right.
(Maybe off topic but not if you use it as an analogy) 😉
🙂
@Cheryl
I’ll say it again: It’s not THAT hard to understand where different values come from. It’s a good thing you used that qualifier up there (the word “maybe”) because there are plenty of working relationship between people with different values (yeah even dog and cat people), but hey I’m not going to fault you for not being able to deal with differences. I know that can be tough if both people are stubborn.
I also take it that you haven’t studied evolution or psychology to any depth, because no, we actually might NOT be better off without the religious right. There are unintended benefits to every living thing that you might find “repulsive.” It has been said that the religious right people’s function had been maintaining the fabric of society, in addressing the problem of “anomie” that the rest of us have living in the fast-paced, modern world…. but you’ll only find this info if you investigate a lot further into what social scientists think.
I won’t go on though because I think I understand where you’re coming from… Trollolololol!
Subjectivity rules……….there is no right or wrong, only subject positions. I have studied Durkheim and found him to be wanting…..as a theorist he isn’t my favorite I prefer Foucault at the moment, I find him far more palatable, although difficult to read……
We will have to agree to disagree, my habitus dictating my discourse of course……..LOL
Rather than single my post out for your critique, how about taking a look at the opposition and their intolerance for difference……..my response still is, if you don’t like your partners dog so much so that you have to have a whinge on the internet to strangers, then maybe the relationship is not for you……..and if you can’t work out how to deal with a barking dog effectively then maybe you should understand how laws work………and if the law doesn’t work for you then maybe you should step up and get the laws changed……..stop with the victim mentality and do something positive instead of sooking like a petulant child.
At no time do I object to people disliking dogs, only people whinging about others in their lives who cause problems in the relationship because they do like their dogs and insist on sharing their lives with their dogs…….to each his own, flexibly and compromise………rather than intolerance of difference……
Amen 🙂
Fair enough Cheryl. As to your question about my “critique” of your post: Anything you post publicly is open to critique by anyone as you well know. Secondly, I keep hearing about how famous people on the left are for their compassion, openmindedness, tolerance, and nonjudgmental mindset from various corners of my social environment but am not finding much evidence for that. I swear that narrowminded, rigid, intolerant, and judgmental people abound on BOTH sides of the political spectrum (echochambers anyone?). For those who claim a moral highground, two wrongs should NOT make a right. That is, just because the opposition is that way, doesn’t mean one should stoop to their level.
But yeah… agree to disagree. I didn’t get the feeling that the author or commentors on this blog were whinging. In fact, it’s not clear whether or not any of them are being proactive about changing laws, etc., or not. They might be when not on the internet, and have only come here to connect with likeminded people. That’s the thing about the internet – it’s a great place for people who find themselves in a minority to connect and know they aren’t alone. Heck, how many people here think dogs aren’t meant to be kept as pets but are for eating? Hmmm… I guess I’ll have to go to another blog for that.
FUNNY post!! And so true. I like dogs well enough, but sweet mother of pearl, i do NOT think they are “people,” and I don’t like it when they hang around me trying to lick my jeans. I think it must be my laundry detergent or something, cuz they’re not trying to sniff my butt–the hem of my jeans will do, or the knee (front or back). Drives me nuts.
are there any dogs that dont shed that are for people who dont like dogs(my mom)and my parents work all day.we are very busy.
Hmm… seems as if there were problems getting my last post through, though I haven’t heard from any moderators about the problem. So I’ve editted whatever I think it is that’s preventing my post from being approved below:
Fair enough Cheryl. As to your question about my “critique” of your post: Anything you post publicly is open to critique by anyone as you well know. I was also just calling out some political hypocrisy that I see happening, though I’ve editted out the details now.
But yeah… agree to disagree. I didn’t get the feeling that the author or commentors on this blog were whinging. In fact, it’s not clear whether or not any of them are being proactive about changing laws, etc., or not. They might be when not on the internet, and have only come here to connect with likeminded people. That’s the thing about the internet – it’s a great place for people who find themselves in a minority to connect and know they aren’t alone.
To Melanie…… most dogs with ‘hair’ like Poodles don’t shed, but if you work all day I would suggest a more appropriate pet would be a cat, although if you don’t like dogs I can’t understand why you would want one.
Being a responsible owner of a dog is a job requiring long term commitment to the needs a pack animal, you can’t (or it is cruel) to lock them in a yard all day without walking them,and only feeding them. Many problems with dogs like excess barking, escaping, destructive behaviors etc are causing through improper handling and care. I have seen that in the US it appears to be normal behavior to keep your dog in a ‘crate’ when nobody is home. This would be classed as cruel behavior in Australia and you could get into serious trouble with the R.S.P.C.A. through our Animal Companion Act laws.
To anybody needing advice on dogs and dog behavior I think the most honest and knowledgeable person would be Cesar Milan, so if you could watch some of his videos on Youtube, or catch his show this would be a start. I know he had some problems with the Human Society in the US but I think they have since got together on any philosophical differences and now present a united front.
For Lyn
I wasn’t directing any of my dog loving vitriol (if you see it like that) at the OP of this thread……..but do get your point about some people needing the internet for communication as they may be alone……my bad 🙁
I know this was posted a long time ago, but, I identify with it and some of the comments are more recent so I’ll reply.
I do not like dogs either. And I live with 2 very large ones.
Thank goodness they are old and relatively unmotivated now and are going to die soon, or I’d probably have to relocate them.
I didn’t mind them at first with the boyfriend, now husband. I even thought that I liked dogs. But then, then, something changed. I started to realize that the house stunk, and so did I. He didn’t take care of them like he should’ve, so I did, and I started to resent the walks, the attention, the grooming, the teeth brushing, the need for such regular vet visits and worming (with indoor cats that’s not necessary besides the rabies vaccine every 3 years or if ill), the constant need to let them out whenever they wanted and the barking and door banging that started to make me want to scratch out my own ear drums, the drool on the walls and carpet and me and the nasty food residue everywhere.. the crap that they insist on doing near the house even if you walk them for 3 miles. They decide right next to the porch is a better spot.. The constant need to watch where you put -anything they might eat- and where you walk in your own yard, the need to clip their claws.. The farting the burping the idiocy of eating your own POOP which makes me want to just vomit…. speaking of vomit, they’ll eat that too.
When one got extremely ill having to care for her .. I did it and she lived where many dogs would’ve died if not for my diligence and actually got a second opinion when the first vet said to put her down.. but only because she’s a living creature and not because I actually like her.
I resent the dogs. I resent that they are not mine but I take care of them and I particularly began resenting it after I had my own baby. They took my time, and created DISGUSTING MESSES that are not appropriate for a baby to exist in, in my mind. Granted, his immune system is probably used to the nastiness and people used to live with farm animals, but look at how often they died young, and so..
I don’t feel bad at all that I cordoned the dogs out in our kitchen. They’re not allowed on the carpet, furniture, up against the walls to RUIN ALL OF IT (and they DID ruin it all. They did.) anymore. Nope. I have had enough. ENOUGH.
I also had the one dogs vocal chords altered. Yup. She was SO LOUD. SO LOUD. And she’d rather stand on the porch and BARK BARK BARK than go do her business. If you go to call her in, she runs off the porch to go pee and BARK BARK BARK. It was making me absolutely nuts. So I fixed it.
And I installed an electric fence, too. Because I was sick of of one of them going and rolling in the neighbor’s cow manure. An ordinarily very line oriented dog apparently would lose her yard training that she maintained even when horses or people go by in the presence of cow manure. So, you want to do that? GO do it whilst being shocked!
All that to say, I LOVE CATS. Adore them. I love to carress them, hold them, love them, feel them purr, be followed and mreowed at, don’t mind the litter or the hairballs and don’t mind their quirks. I also grew up with a ferret that I loved, and it had a litter pan too, and was very michievious, hid my hair stuff (clips etc) and socks and would jump in our shower and also would escape.. but the ferret was not GROSS like dogs.. Cats are not gross like dogs.. I think I just don’t like dogs becuase they are GROSS.
And I don’t like other people’s dogs because I view them as DANGEROUS. Other peoples ferret/cats? Not generally dangerous. A dog that could rip out my throat if he wanted to in t-minus 10 seconds? DANGEROUS. “oohh but my dog would never bite you!” Yeah until I look at them the wrong way or tickle their kid or whatever and they rip out my throat.
I don’t 100% trust my dogs. Why do you trust yours? It’s an animal. Be leery. Don’t let little children in its face, don’t let it run up to people snarling, be really careful if it is protective, get it neutered, and whatnot.
I will be glad when these dogs are dead. I’ve told my husband : you want a dog after these ones are dead.. YOU WILL TAKE CARE OF IT.
He’s decided fine, no dogs. But you can’t have cats. I asked if he takes care of the cats, he said no but it’s apparently not fair.. I said, fine, no more dogs when these are gone.. no more cats when these (young kitties) are gone..
When these cats are gone. I’ll be getting a ferret. muhahahah.
To know that there are other people out there who feel the same way that I do towards dogs makes me feel so much better. I don’t ‘hate’ dogs, but neither am I a dog lover. I hate to see them mistreated and abused, but on the other hand I also hate when they are inside the house, or try to lick you in the face, and the HAIR!! Oh my gosh…the hair. I know they can’t help it, but I can’t stand dog hair on my clothes, which could fall in your food while your cooking or eating.
Yes they are fun to pet and play with, but after a couple of minutes, come get your dog off of me. Since dogs can’t bathe daily, they do have a scent that I am good at detecting. It is less noticable when the dog is well taken care of identifiable by their shiny coat. Just like many who smoke cigarettes think they don’t stink, so are the thoughts of many dog owners about their pets. Many are so used to the smell, they don’t notice it.
With that being said, I have a friend who owns a cute house dog which I don’t mind playing with. When I go visit, eventually the dog gets on my nerve. I know that some of you will say since I am at her house…deal with it. On the other hand, I am the guest, that was invited, so I think she should be considerate of me too. –
Keep ur dog and his dirty balls off the pillow that I am going to lay my head on.
-Please keep ur dog off of me while I am sleeping. I mean this dog walked on my back all night. Mind u i was on a blow up cushion. He would find a place and curl up, but then do it again 30 min later. Then when I mention it to her the next morning, she tells me that I should of told him to get off. Uhhhh…noo this is ur animal, not mine…..u need to train him . (She knew he was doing this, she was laying on her bed next to me.)
-If u know ur dog likes to lick vaseline off of people legs (slightly cute the first time, but disgusting still the first time and all other times), put him in his cage for a min. or two while I walk from the bathroom to the room to get dressed. (I couldn’t get dressed in the Bath room b/c she needed to get in there too).
I love my friend completely and that dog to a certain degree, but sometimes I think she forgets that IT IS A DOG!! LOL…smh
So I am tolerant to animals to high degree and know they can be VERY heplful (search and rescue, help the handicap, teaching responsibility, for comforting the sick and dying, etc, etc) but I really wish people would realize that everone is not a dog/ animal LOVER.
P.S…..am I the only one leery of eating at people house’s who have liv-in animals b/c they will pet it, let it lick their fingers and then they’ll turn around and cook or fix something to drink without washing their hands. That’s just NASTY!!!