A random sampling of conversations or emails I’ve taken part in or eavesdropped on over the past 36 hours:
What. Was. He. Thinking?
Isn’t the weather great?
Did you see that look on his wife’s face? What was she thinking?
I like the extra hour of light with daylight savings time.
You know damned well what she was thinking.
Have you seen the documentary about the Mardi Gras in Mobile?
$80,000! How do you spend $80,000 on a prostitute?
No, but I’ve heard the Crawford documentary is great.
What do you get for that kind of money, anyway?
I’m still tired. I hate it when there’s a time change. It takes me forever to adjust.
I heard Dr. Laura was on the Today Show, talking about infidelity. She said it’s the wife’s fault when a husband strays. Obviously, she isn’t giving him what she needs.
If Obama can’t win the big states, should he get the nomination?
Dr. Laura! I hate her! She’s not a psychologist! What does she know?
I’m sick of getting this feminist guilt trip for not voting for Hillary. I just don’t like her.
Oh, that’s right. She’s a physical therapist.
You ever worry about Obama’s lack of experience?
No, she’s a physiologist.
I worry about everything. Of course I worry about it.
What’s a physiologist?
But I’m sick of the Clintons. They’ve had their eight years in the White House. Enough, already.
How should I know what a physiologist is? But what does she mean — it’s the wife‘s fault?
I’ll vote for the nominee, though. Anybody has to be better than Bush.
Yeah, why do women always blame each other?
We’re getting back a $6,000 refund on our taxes.
What did he think — that he was above the rules?
Shut up. I don’t want to talk about taxes.
Yes. No. I don’t know. Maybe he wanted to get caught.
Well, you’ve still got another month till April 15. Or you could file an extension.
Remember what Woody Allen said? “The heart knows what it wants.”
Don’t remind me. I’m probably going to owe money, anyway.
The heart? Give me a break! He wasn’t talking about his heart.
Well, you never know. You might get money back.
I won’t go to any of his movies now. He hasn’t done anything good since Manhattan. I hate him more than Dr. Laura.
What are you going to spend your $6,000 refund on?
I’m still wondering about the $80,000. What do you get for $80,000?
Oh, you know, stuff.
(Copyright 2008 by Ruth Pennebaker)