A Few Signs Your Writer Spouse May Have Had a Bad Day

1) Liquor supply — formerly abundant — is depleted.

2) Telltale bon-bon wrappings litter the top of the wastebasket.

3) TV — although turned off — is suspiciously warm from frequent use.

4) House is clean.  Too clean.

5) Spouse claims to be working on a new novel s/he doesn’t want to talk about “just yet.”

6) Although spouse claimed to have quit smoking “for good” several months ago, air smells strangely like unfiltered Camels.

7) Spouse appears to have overly active, detailed, up-to-the-minute knowledge of recent celebrity happenings, overdoses, custody battles, underwear loss, eating disorders, car wrecks, police and paparazzi chases.

8) Spouse appears sulky and morose, even for a writer.

9) Spouse doesn’t appear particularly thrilled when you begin to expound on what a great day you had today.

10) Spouse’s attire — pajamas and bathrobe — creates sense of deja vu.  Wasn’t that exactly what s/he was wearing when you left for work?  (Although, you note, food stains appear fresh.)

(Copyright 2008 by Ruth Pennebaker)

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