Comments on: After the Turkey

By: Dino

Dino — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 15:51:18 +0000

That realization that parenthood never ends, at least the “in your gut” certainty of it, was slow in coming but inevitable. When I hear a young couple talking about having children, I like to put on a wise old look, lean in, and advise them to just get a dog instead. My wife hates this but just rolls her eyes as if to say, ignore him and he’ll go away.

By: Steve

Steve — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 21:18:36 +0000

Isn’t it a blessing to have adult children who actually WANT to be with you on a holiday? You know, not all of our friends in our age group are so blessed.

Yes, the parenting never ends; even as he approached his end, full of days, my father found an occasion to remind me that he was, in fact, still the daddy.

We, too, were blessed with both our kids’ presence for Thanksgiving, one with the spouse of a year and the other with a friend in tow. As we held hands to give thanks (you know we’re a prayin’ family), I had to pause a long time (long enough that I think some at the table were becoming uncomfortable) as I wrestled with the reality that, with my dad’s passing this year, I was now not just the parent, but the pater familias. Wow. Who’d have thought it?

Everybody had a great time over four days–we laughed and played games and had to make a couple of beer runs. I am thankful nobody got sick; we have that T-shirt.

By: MarthaAndMe

MarthaAndMe — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 17:25:05 +0000

Whenever I hear a baby cry in a store or wherever, it’s like it plucks some invisible string inside me and I react to it. I’m sorry she was sick but glad you were able to nurse her back to health. I always feel so conflicted when they are sick – I want to hug them and make it all better but like you I don’t want to infect myself.

By: Kate

Kate — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 21:24:11 +0000

“Having children changes your life forever.” Amen. I totally connected to this post, Ruth. I would do the same and feel the same if I were in your shoes. Glad to know she’s on the mend but in the moment, it’s hard, especially when you feel like the nitty gritty parenting stuff is over. Not. As my grandmother always said, “when they are little they are on your hands and when they are grown, they are on your heart.”

By: Julie

Julie — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 20:19:33 +0000

Oh, so true. You nailed it, Ruth. I’m sorry about your daughter’s illness. It’s often rougher on the parents.

By: Winston

Winston — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 19:14:57 +0000

Big Weekend Party! Food and Merriment for All!
And with the coming of dawn, a sick child, alas.
What? No thought of food poisoning? No guilt-trip for Nursey?
My, what only three months in the asphalt jungle can do to people.

P.S. Glad you had family and good times for the holiday/birthday!

By: Alexandra

Alexandra — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 18:19:22 +0000

Oh! It doesn’t end, as Ruth writes so eloquently. The letting go is hard. You do it because it’s necessary, but, even over the miles, that invisible connection created by motherhood yanks at you from time to time …

By: Alisa Bowman

Alisa Bowman — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 16:57:43 +0000

“You shut your eyes and trust in a cruel and indifferent universe.”
Interesting way of putting it. I didn’t realize the turning at “mommy!” would go on so long. Yikes. Glad your daughter is improved and that no one else (yet) caught the bug.